A New Beginning (For Us Both)

The first time I got serious about wanting to change my life I enrolled into university. My goal wasn’t for me or what I wanted to do it was the safe bet. Go to college, get a degree, a fancy job. Once I made enough money and gained enough knowledge was when I could really live my dream. See the issue there? I couldn’t live my dream until other people were satisfied.

After racking up a couple years of student loan debt, I dropped out of college. I was closer to living my dream at the job I was at than I was sitting in a classroom or on my laptop stressing out over homework, deadlines and reports. My dream is something I’ve always wanted, something I didn’t think was in the cards for me until one day I realized the only reason it wasn’t in my cards was because I never gave myself the choice. I’d play the cards I was dealt but there was an endless deck right there, I could make my life whatever I wanted.

For someone who has been conditioned to make themselves as small as possible at all times, one of the scariest parts for me was setting values, sticking to them and realizing that no one is owed my time. I have a say in how I am talked to and how I am treated. Some people really don’t like that. You realize when you stay true to yourself that the trash really does take itself out. You learn who your friends are.

Now this is a blog about growing, evolving, and reaching goals why does a bit of my personal back story matter? Because you have to learn why before you can figure out how - why does this affect me and how can I change it? I am not a licensed professional in any way. I strongly suggest that you get a licensed professional to talk things out with, especially if your childhood wasn’t a good one, as some things may come up. Along with therapy, I’d suggest doing some journaling on your childhood/past. (I will have journal prompt pages posted soon)